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07-Sep-2017 12:34

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What you have to keep in mind is that separated is still married until the divorce is finalised and that means that there’s likely to be emotional as well as legal ties.It would be handy if we could avoid the vulnerability that comes with doing the due diligence and taking appropriate action where needed.What we forget is that even if a person hasn’t just exited a relationship, aside from knowing our own boundaries (which can rule out certain things that we’ve already made a decision on in advance of), we cannot get all of the answers upfront or have someone tell us what ‘the ending’ will be.Each situation is different but what you can say with a high degree of certainty is that someone who’s just fallen out of their marriage, who’s still in reconciliation negotiations, who’s still very influenced by their spouse, and who has been separated for a long time ‘just because’, is going to bring pain into your life.

I’m of a certain age so I need to prepare myself for turning a blind eye to any code amber / red actions and indications because people in this age group tend to be recently broken up / separated / divorced‘. There’s no easy answer to the question of what the ‘right time’ is for dating a separated or recently divorced person.

Your date might also have kept in contact with friends who knew both of them while they were together.



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